Wow. I went an entire year without blogging. I am so sorry. I can only imagine the emotional turmoil you all have been through. If you are wondering why I stopped blogging, the answer is quite simple: I got a second job. Because one job isn’t enough, apparently.
Actually, one job is more than enough. However, in order to develop some of my computer programming skills, and to get a bit of extra vacation money, I started a side gig which was only supposed to last a few weeks and yet, 52 weeks later, it’s still going strong. Unlike me. I am not going strong.
Throughout the year, I have really appreciated all the fan mail I’ve received. A lot of it was very heartwarming. I’ll take this opportunity to share some of these heartfelt messages:
Dear Not a Funny Husband,
I wanted to express my sincere gratitude to you as well as my sorrow that you’ve been so quiet. Your blog has been incredibly important in my life. I regularly deal with low self-esteem and constant self-doubt, but your blog brings me hope. Not because it’s funny. It’s not. At all. It sucks. Honestly, I’ve read obituaries funnier than your slop.
That’s exactly why it’s so important to me. Reading your rubbish reminds me that no matter how poorly I view myself, I know there is someone who is lamer than I am. My wife used to think I wasn’t funny, either. But, after reading your posts, she sees me as the second coming of Johnny Carson. Our marriage has been saved. I look forward to your return, as recently, my sadness has been creeping in and I need a boost to my morale.
Gratefully,
Bill Strikerson
Thanks, Bill. Go jump in a lake.
One more I received recently.
Dear Homeowner,
Are you interested in selling your home? We’ll buy it from you WITH CASH! That’s right, cold hard cash. Dollar bills. Benjamins. Not a credit card. Not a check. No, we will hand deliver a briefcase full of stacks of hundred dollar bills. We hand you the briefcase, you hand us the keys. It’s that simple. And we won’t lowball you, either. I promise you we’ll pay you a high price, much higher than you could get if you gave your house away for free.
“How can you possibly do that?” you ask. That’s a great question! We can’t give you all the details because some of it is… well, we just use methods that certain government officials might deem illegal based on completely unreasonable interpretations of the law, according to our online lawyer. Anyway, the point is, we CAN do it.
We look forward to hearing from you!
Homes4Cash
I bet no one else gets fan mail like that!
Hopefully, for all your sakes, I’ll blog again before the next year is up. If not, see you in 2025!